What We Believe

Yesterday, most Americans had the opportunity to put their democracy to work for their own interests. It seemed like a long time in coming — four years that to many felt as if they had been stolen from them. November 2nd provided the one chance to win those years back.

Many Americans responded. Many voted for the first time and, to cast their vote, many endured the hardships of weather and waiting. Many understood the grave stakes before them. Many understood that the small group of men and women at the top of their government had cynically deceived them into believing that a crooked and distant leader was on the verge of killing Americans in mass numbers. It was clear, to many, that this same group of powerful and wealthy individuals had swiftly emptied the nation's savings into the accounts of the wealthiest few. Of the few enriched by the Bush Administration, some have acted as if the U.S. were just a launching pad for their own heartless projects of corporate imperialism. This fact has not been lost on many Americans.

However, many citizens cast a vote of indifference by staying at home yesterday. According to reports of the popular vote, even more citizens cast a vote of ignorance. What in the world were they thinking? One might imagine a dialogue they might have entertained as they sized up the issues and candidates:

"You know what? Just listen to those people on my radio and TV. I know all their names. They're like family. They crack me up. And I get angry about the things they're angry about. What were those Democrats talking about? Health care? Jobs? The quality of the air I breathe and the water I drink? C'mon! Did you see what they say is written in the Bible? Now, the Bible's a book that can really make a person angry. You should read it. I plan to. Anyway, this has been a crazy time. Color-coded terror threats and, now, what are the Democrats talking about? What they want is to destroy marriage. Those liberals are always trying to undermine the family. They hate families. And they really hate families that are unborn. You know what? While we're at it... John Kerry's a communist, and a traitor. He looks French. And I bet he looks down on simple folk like me. Worst of all, in the past, he's changed his mind. Now, if the president ever stops thinking and saying the same thought over and over, you just know the terrorists will think he’s weak. They’ll start plottin’ all over again. Pretty soon, they’ll show up with smokin' guns that are mushroom clouds. You ever seen a smokin’ gun as big as a mushroom cloud? Shee-it. Well, I certainly ain't, ‘cause there’d be nothing left of me to talk about it.

And don't get me started on the media. This whole election has been skewed by liberal bias. It's everywhere! It's killing Alan Keyes in Illinois, and the mainstream media have been in the tank with Kerry all along. Dan Rather got tricked into accepting a forged document that was meant to prove the obvious and — did you get this? — an ABC news executive sent a memo to his reporters asking them to appeal to "facts" rather than to concoct the appearance of balance when it was shown by independent analysts that the president misled more often and on more important issues. Now, that proves liberal bias! The media won't follow Fox's lead! I mean, how biased can you get? And the point is: the thought that they were even gonna try and present material critical of the president shows that they don't understand the benefits of totalitarianism. And, I'm like, Hello-o?

And on top of that they throw in Michael Moore. He's from Hollywood, right? Or is it Canada? Anyhoo, he'd be better off there. He hates America. He hates everyone and just hates for the money. What a chump! Listen, George Bush is the man. He stands up to the Europeans and to all those fancy-pants international sorts. God bless his soul! And God bless America!

Last thing: did you hear the latest? Iran has tried to get yellow cake from Niger. Those documents the president talked about in his address to the Union were actually forged, but only because they were supposed to say "Iran," not "Iraq." Turns out, the "q" was slipped in there by someone at CBS. So, here we go again! The U.S. vs. Iran. Let's see who wins this one. Ha! It's time to avenge that soccer loss from a few years ago. This is gonna be a helluva ride! And I can't wait to see all the liberals eating their Qaqaa sandwich once Tehran goes up in flames. I'll be lovin' it!"

And so it was that America spat upon itself with a violence that has turned all the heads of the world. We have made a spectacle of our own ignorance. Call us a nation of proud patriots if you wish, but is all of this sort of rubbish what many of us are willing to believe? And, if so, for how long will the delusions last? And down what grim path are we going to be led? Will we ever be able to trust ourselves again?

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